Oh lord, it seems I have developed an ego.

D:

The horrors.

I have to fix that, obviously.




On a totally unrelated note, my mom found her old copy of Lord of the Flies from high school, and it used to belong to Bif Naked. I'm not a huge sucker for celebrities or anything but I thought it was mildly interesting.

Also, it seems most of my opening sentences start with the letter O

My soup is too hot to eat.

Okay so who doesn't use Myspace these days? Cool people, that's who.

But I have one. I just don't use it very often. Sure I will log on but it is really only to keep in touch with some family.

And what is up with teenage drama? Say I know this girl (Girl 1) who is best friends with this other girl (Girl 2) who is dating this one guy (ManlymanorsoIhear) who Girl 1 doesn't like. Now here is what happened.

G1 has told G2 countless times about how she feels about M, and that he is a bad dude to be with, and stuff like that. G1 asked G2 to go to her volleyball game, and G2 declined, claiming she had homework. G2 then proceeded to go to M's house after school for 5 hours, doesn't pick up her cell, and her parents then call G1's house to find out where she is. G1 comes in and has to scold G2 and G1 is very hurt. She doesn't understand why G2 won't listen to her, and that she is so stressed out that she hurt herself. She claims that their friendship is in "jeopardy" and other such dramatic words.

That makes G2 sound like a pretty bad, druggie teenager that is liable to become a teenage mother, right?

Now what if I told you that G2 is a reliable, good girl who would never do something like that? You might think that she just made a mistake, right?

Okay here is G2's story.

After finding out that G1 has hurt herself, she starts crying in English class. Later on, she tells her friend that G1 is only telling the side of the truth that makes her look like a victim. She explains that the day she was over at M's house was not even the same night as the volleyball game, and that she actually did 3 hours of homework that night. She didn't answer her cell phone because it had died on her, and she had thought that she had charged it, hence her not bothering to give her parents the phone number of M. Her parents realize this, and call G1 to find out where he lives to go pick G2 up. G1 proceeds to drive to M's house, G2's parents behind her, and scold G2 for not answering her phone and all that good stuff. G2's parents, later at home, tell her that they are not mad, it was an honest mistake, and accident, and that it was rather uncerimonious of G1 to talk to her like that in front of G2's boyfriend.

Now who is the bad guy?

The answer is nobody.. G1 might be a little nastier, it seems, but really she is just feeling lonely and worried that her best friend might be leaving her. She is caught up in her own world of a glamorized image of a tragic, troubled teenager. G2 is on the receiving end of this, and there is nothing she can do. She is upset and feeling mixed emotions, like she wants to be happy, and is, but is angry and sad at G1. She even wrote her a long email explaining this, and does not understand why it only made G1 angrier. It is possible that G1 is even jealous, not of M, but of the fact that she does not have a boyfriend of her own, and now she has to share her time with G2 with someone else.

All perfectly human emotions, I just wish there were more people who could understand both sides of the argument. It's a difficult role sometimes, but lordy, the fights we could avoid.

I am actually considering making a soap opera of this whole episode. It could work, I swear. Bring somebody back from the dead, you know, the whole schtick.

G1: OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
G2: But.. I thought he was dead! YOU TOLD ME HE WAS DEAD!
G1: I... I... no you gotta listen to me I thought he was dead I SAW HIM DIE
G2: You b*tch I'm gonna kill you you lied to me!
M: Don't do it! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
G1: *coughhackwheeze* I just want you to know... M... I love you! *dies*
M: I.. I.. I LOVE YOU TOO! *shoots self*
G2: crycrycry
Man who looks like deadmanwalking: What the hell just happened

Oh lordy, back to school burnout yo. I went from doing absolutely nothing at all for months to doing everything all at once, 3 choirs, 2 bands (will be 3), yearbook (I'm practically editor this year) a volunteer newsletter, etcetera etcetera.

So there is this choir in my school that is the "cool" choir that gets to do all the awesome stuff, such as Small Acts (when you have 1-3 people and you do a song of your choice, however you want, be it a capella, accompanied by you or somebody else, etc) last year the guys had a barbershop thing going on (so awesome) and I hate to sound full of myself and young and naive and whatnot, but I was almost totally sure I would be getting in, because there were a lot of open spots.

However, seniority won out over talent (and the fact that they were all on choir exec/SRC didn't hurt either) and I didn't get in.

I was very sad :(

I'm mostly over it now, but I thought you might like to know. It will be torture watching the small acts though, because a lot of people... aren't the ones I would pick for the prestigious choir of the school. (Our school is very big on choir, musicals, artsy stuff, it is wonderful)

So add all that to the fact that I did not even get a weekend to catch up on sleep and what you get is an emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted me. It's to the point where I will sit in one spot for too long and my brain will transmit signals too slowly to my limbs and they feel like when you have been up too late and you are watching TV and the people on the show are allll... talking li..ike this... and you feel heavy but lightheaded, and your eyes are slipping in and out of focus until your cat taps you on the arm with her claws out to see if you are alright then jumps on your lap and you have to shoo her away because she is not allowed on the couch, but you don't because your arms and legs are too heavy and you are not entirely sure she is even there.

I mean, half the week I was at school from 8:30 to 6 pm, having only drunk a juice box and had a sandwich and a bit of applesauce. Occasionally a Nutri-grain bar or a banana. Then I have to go home and do all this homework that I am behind in because I missed 2 days of because of this workshop and that choir camp I was at.

On the bright side, my pinkies are getting a workout in jazz band. I started playing the bari sax this year, and it dwarfs me. My pinkies are only just long enough to reach. I like it though, low woodwind is great. Plus, I am re-starting my piano lessons. I quit too soon and can hardly read bass clef.

I would like to learn how to play the bassoon as well.

And if I sound like a band geek to you, my friend bought a $100 mouthpiece and will not shut up about his tuba.

Okay so this weekend I went to a choir camp with about 53 young individuals from all over the region that was auditioned. It was pretty sweet, this guy with a lisp who is actually really popular (but I like him anyway) was reading sex tips out loud from a Cosmopolitan magazine. Stuff about vanilla pudding and whatnot, then the chaperone walked in and sat down to listen and offered to help him with some words but he was too embarrassed. I know that sounds lame and stuff online because you weren't there or know how funny he is. But he is one of those people who can say anything and it will be funny. I am sure you know what I mean.

It rained a lot.

It was cold. And wet. My socks are soggy. And a bunch of girls were freaking out in the woods. We went romping in the dark every night and all these girls were being idiots and being scared just so that they could have an excuse to cling onto guys' arms. I really hate that. I dunno, it just makes me want to kick them in the shins, then makes me want to kick the guys in the shins because they are so shallow and annoying.

We went into an abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods and because I pretty much believe in ghosts I wouldn't do it the first couple of nights but I wasn't even remotely scared of them the last night so I did. We sat around on this mattress with weird stains on them (!) and told "scary stories," you know those ones that are not scary? Yeah. It was fun.

Oh, this one time we were sitting in our cabin and I was talking to another girl, and I was mid-sentence and she just turned around and ignored me and I didn't really know what to do. What do you do in that sort of situation, huh? I think I just looked at another girl, and we were pretty much awestruck at that little act. It was amazing how somebody can just do that, and we laughed about it. It happened to me a few times though because sometimes I am funny and can think of clever, funny jokes, but then I will go through a dry spell and people just think I am an idiot. And then my best friend, who normally thinks anything I say is hilarious, will refuse to laugh with me just because we are around other people and she is sort of self-conscious about if people like her or not, I don't mind, I mean, it is who she is, but god couldn't she just laugh to make me not feel retarded? Lordy. I didn't tell her anything though because she was feeling pretty happy about all the music teachers getting her to play bass for everything because she is so good... I think that might have affected her behaviour a bit too. (?) She also likes to be in the big groups of people, whereas I like little groups of 2 or 3 people. She considers that being "anti-social" though, so I always end up following her around because lately she has taken to not wanting to follow me anymore and I don't really want to be all alone. It's sort of depressing in a way because we aren't in any of each other's classes this year except for one at the end of the year that she might have to drop and then I will be in English with nobody that I know.

Also, some guys went swimming in the lake and we took their clothes. But then those sappy girls whom I was talking about earlier took them back to them I think. Which is a shame really. That cost them guys valuable life experience.